Weeknotes S9 Ep5

A weird week

A bug dances on a bed a la Kafka’s Metamorphosis

For reasons this has been a 3 day week for me. Shortly after writing last weeks note my small human puked everywhere and was ill with a bug, I thought we had escaped but started feeling horrible on Sunday evening and couldn’t do anything more than sleep all of Monday. Friday is my non-working day so that left just three in-between days.

What happened?

• We had some deadlines on the MedTech work this week, with our senior stakeholder reviewing our report deck on Tuesday afternoon and a show and tell on Thursday so I tried a couple of times to look in on progress but couldn’t actually do anything.
• I went back to my desk on Tuesday but wasn’t at 100%
• Finalising the project report
• Final show and tell on Thursday

What was good?

• Continuing to work with Josh on our final bits and pieces

What was hard?

• Working in our report deck felt difficult because of structures, it felt like I was tagging on Josh’s and my work rather than it feeling fully embedded. It was 1. tricky to do and 2. unsatisfying because it didn’t feel cohesive. It required bending of our work to make it sit within the content. It meant going backwards and forwards into the user research (again) and honestly I’m still feeling uneasy about this. Jumping back into the final report doc on the morning of the show and tell to find that most of the slides had been updated and changed and prettified except the ones that I had been working on felt pretty frustrating and exaggerated that feeling of lack of cohesion even more.
• All of the above meant I also found the show and tell difficult because it felt a little like I was just popping up variously to talk about something in amongst other stuff, it felt awkward and I didn’t like it.
• Writing these weeknotes is hard because this project has been hard, not in subject matter necessarily, the work is complex or complicated but not impossible, but other things have been extremely difficult and I’m struggling with weeknotes because I don’t want to come here to complain so it feels like last week and this week have been super short.
• Big announcements of changes at NHS England and DHSC, some miscommunications and a fair amount of shocked people. Its going to be a long drawn-out change, and it’s not clear how it will affect me yet, so we just have to keep going.

And what else?

• Our fridge is broken, its really annoying
• Been feeling really anxious and a little bit sick, not sure if it’s the physical describing the mental or visa versa. Ether way I’ve found myself dwelling a lot on past friendships, people I haven’t seen for a while or don’t see anymore, wondering if I’ve done something wrong or if I should reach out, I’m feeling a little lonely and sad and wondering about ADHD and how this might be a thing.
• I watched Black Doves which included Kiera Knightly and Ben Wilshaw, and it was very silly.